Os 100 melhores episódios de sempre para a TV Guide

Listas. Cada qual tem o valor que cada um lhe quiser dar. E esta é mais uma delas. A TV Guide organizou uma lista dos 100 melhores episódios televisivos de sempre, fazendo o que basicamente se faz neste tipo de iniciativas, que é dividir o mal pelas aldeias. Os textos, ou frases, que acompanham as escolhas estão repletos de SPOILERS, por isso leiam os mesmos por vossa conta e risco.

100. THE BRADY BUNCH
“The Subject Was Noses” 2/9/1973
Thirty-six years later, strangers and celebrities alike still ask Maureen McCormick to say it. “When I did the Country Music Awards,” says McCormick, who played Brady babe Marcia, “Billy Ray Cyrus really wanted me to say it.” It, of course, is “Oh, my nose!,” the three words that accompanied TV’s purest moment of schadenfreude—when Miss Perfect got smacked in the honker with an errant football. “The whole crew was dying to hit me,” McCormick says (Christopher Knight, who played Peter, actually got the honor). McCormick still thinks that swollen schnoz was unrealistically exaggerated, and she should know: The night this fourth-season episode aired, she was leaving a Brady Bunch rehearsal when she was in a car accident. Her nose smashed into the steering wheel. No broken bones, she recalls, but damage was done: “There was blood all over my outfit!”

99. FAMILY GUY
“Blue Harvest” 9/23/2007
A “Star Wars” parody that included Adam West, Clark Griswold, Rush Limbaugh and Helen Reddy. How could it not make this list?

98. BREAKING BAD
“Peek a Boo” 4/12/2009
This poignant heartbreaker hit us with the impact of an ATM falling on our heads.

97. MARY HARTMAN
“Chicken Soup” 3/4/1976
Feed a cold, drown a neighbor? The original desperate housewife unwittingly served a lethal bowl of soup to a neighbor whose appetizer had been Seconal and whiskey—all at a time when passing out in broth just wasn’t done on polite TV.

96. RESCUE ME
“Baptism” 4/7/2009
After a 19-month hiatus, Rescue Me’s producers knew they needed a big reentrance. “I said, ‘We’ve got to serve notice to our viewers that we’re back,’” says cocreator Peter Tolan. “Baptism” did just that by circling back to the very root of the series—9/11, and the way it continues to haunt the firefighters both physically and spiritually. Topping it all off was a stunt-casting masterstroke: Mr. Nice Guy himself, Michael J. Fox, playing an acid-tongued paraplegic every bit the match for Denis Leary’s fiery Tommy Gavin. “It was unlike anything he’d done before,” says Tolan of Fox. “We had people saying, ‘God, I want to see this guy again.’ It was a great gift.”

95. SUPERNATURAL
“No Rest for the Wicked” 5/18/2008
The show went to Hell—literally—when Dean settled his deal with the Devil in Season 3’s brutally good finale.

94. ALLY MCBEAL
“Cro-Magnon” 1/5/1998
Was it creepy? Charming? Some weird combination of both? Ally’s computer-generated dancing baby filled a need we didn’t even know we had.

93. BIG LOVE
“Come, Ye Saints” 2/22/2009
Never mind the shrine—it was the light shined on the psyches of our favorite polygamists that earned our big love.

92. PARTY OF FIVE
“Intervention” 2/19/1997
The Salingers’ confrontation packed more punch than a season of Celebrity Rehab.

91. BEVERLY HILLS, 90210
“Spring Dance” 5/2/1991
Brenda gives it up to Dylan. If you have to ask what “it” was, you must’ve skipped sex ed.

90. MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
“Bowling” 4/1/2001
Strike! How else can you score this depiction of two very different bowling parties under the supervision of mom Lois and dad Hal.

89. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
“Orphans” 3/6/1989
The Catherine-Vincent smooch was TV’s steamiest interspecies kiss ever. And, no, we can’t think of another one, but still…

88. MAGNUM, P.I.
“Did You See the Sunrise?” 9/30/1982
Magnum’s revenge on his ’Nam torturer was a gutsty meditation on a hero’s fall.

87. HAPPY DAYS
“Fonzie Loves Pinky” 9/21/1976
Roz Kelly began her red-hot stint as the Fonz’s demolition derby doll Pinky Tuscadero, only to leave us all crushed after three episodes.

86. SCRUBS
“My Musical” 1/18/2007
Few entries on our list are “gimmick” episodes. But we just couldn’t get this catchy Scrubs out of our heads. Just try not to hum “Guy Love.”

85. MELROSE PLACE
“The Bitch Is Back” 4/27/1994
Only downside to Kimberly’s return from the dead? The Models, Inc. spin-off it launched.

84. ALIAS
“The Telling” 5/4/2003
Evil Francie battled ever-good Syd in a smack down rivaled only by an epilogue that roused Syd two years later.

83. GOOD TIMES
“Black Jesus” 2/15/1974
Provocative and funny, “Black Jesus” was Good Times at its best. When aspiring artist J.J. paints Jesus with African features, his devout mom Florida (Esther Rolle) flips out. John Amos, who played patriarch James, says the episode showed producer “Norman Lear’s ability to deliver a message in the envelope of humor.” The portrait was the work of athlete-turned-artist Ernie Barnes, who died earlier this year. Amos knew Barnes from their pro football days. “I was an angry young black man with eruptions of temper,” he says. “Ernie told me, ‘We’re not playing football anymore. Calm down.’ He saved my job. For a while.”

82. FARSCAPE
“Revenging Angel” 8/10/2001
The sci-fi series fine-tooned its quirky rep with this animated outing, in which a comatose Crichton did mental battle against Scorpious.

81. SMALLVILLE
“Rosetta” 2/25/2003
Christopher Reeve guest starred as Dr. Virgil Swann, and the payoff was truly super.

80. STAR TREK
“City on the Edge of Forever” 4/6/1967
This is the one that boldly went where Star Trek had never gone before—into the heart of Capt. James T. Kirk. William Shatner’s time-traveling space cowboy fell head-over-heels for WWII-era social worker Edith Keeler (Joan Collins). The catch: If Kirk saves Edith’s life, he’ll set off a domino effect leading to Hitler’s acquisition of the atom bomb. “It’s my favorite episode because it’s so timeless and profound,” says Shatner. “Who hasn’t said, ‘If only I had known, I could have done something…’”

79. CHARLIE’S ANGELS
“Angels in Chains” 10/20/1976
Farrah Fawcett-Majors’ Jill Munroe—along with Kate Jackson’s Sabrina Duncan and Jaclyn Smith’s Kelly Garrett—had herself arrested to infiltrate a sadistic prison farm. “The concept of that [episode] was provocative and yet it maintained an innocence,” remembers Smith. “So it was like two different forces at play.” And what a force was Warhol Factory ingenue Mary Woronov as Max! The prison guard ogled the Angels during a “skin search” and referred to her charges as “Sweet Cakes.” And it just got better from there.

78. ANGEL
“I Will Remember You” 11/23/1999
Suddenly human Angel’s reunion with his beloved Buffy was doomed. Romance bites.

77. THE WALTONS
“The Easter Story” 4/19/1973
All the heart, humor and homey love of Waltons Mountain was on full display in this first-season tale of Olivia’s sudden bout with polio.

76. FAMILY TIES
“The Real Thing: Pt. 2″ 10/3/1985
What made “The Real Thing”—in which Michael J. Fox’s Reaganite yuppie falls for a feminist artist—a real winner was the heat between star Fox and his soon-to-be real-life wife, Tracy Pollan. “Little did I know that I was meeting my future husband,” says the actress, who was hired for two episodes but, thanks to the couple’s chemistry, stayed an entire season. “‘The Real Thing’ was basically an audition,” she recalls. “Michael made me feel at ease. There was definitely a spark, but neither of us knew what it was going to lead to: four kids, a dog and a hamster.” Now there’s a happy ending.

75. GILMORE GIRLS
“Raincoats and Recipes” 5/18/2004
The speed-talkers’ Season 4 finale left us speechless after the Luke-Lorelai hookup.

74. WILL & GRACE
“Homo for the Holidays” 11/25/1999
Jack comes out to his mother and learns a big secret about his father in a Thanksgiving stuffed with reasons to be grateful.

73. THE OUTER LIMITS
“Demon With a Glass Hand” 10/17/1964
Do not adjust your sets—it’s just Robert Culp as a fella with a tricked-out appendage and an alternate-reality twist that could send Fringe fans into a frenzy.

72. BATMAN
“Better Luck Next Time” 3/17/1966
Camp doesn’t get more purrfect than Julie Newmar in a catsuit. (Hey, we couldn’t resist.)

71. LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE
“I’ll Be Waving as You Drive Away” 3/6/1978
There wasn’t a dry eye in any house, little or big, when Mary went blind.

70. SEX AND THE CITY
“Pick-a-Little, Talk-a-Little” 7/13/2003
The origins of the catchphrase “He’s just not that into you,” coined by writer Greg Behrendt, can be found here. “Actually, as I recall it, Greg’s original line was ‘The dude’s just not that into you,’” says Julie Rottenberg, who wrote the episode with Elisa Zuritsky. The episode led to the best-selling self-help guide by Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo and the book’s big-screen version. “Here was a philosophy that liberated women,” Zuritsky says. “Dude’s not that into you? Fine! Move on! His loss, not yours.”

69. DALLAS
“A House Divided” 3/21/1980
An amoral oilman is shot and America spends its summer wondering whodunit. Thus was born the cliff-hanger.

68. HEROES
“Company Man” 2/26/2007
Played out against Matt and Ted’s assault on the Bennett home, H.R.G.’s secret link to the heroes has an explosive impact.

67. DYNASTY
“The Threat” 4/13/1983
Think Dynasty, think Krystle (Linda Evans) versus Alexis (Joan Collins). “There were only about four or five catfights between us,” recalls Collins, “and there were so many more good things in the show.” But how could anyone not enjoy the waterlogged knockdown, drag-out of this classic? “I didn’t like it at all!” Collins says. “Not only do I not like fighting, but I don’t like having my head underwater. It was very uncomfortable, and I had on probably the worst dress that Nolan Miller ever made for me!” The rest of us loved it.

66. HOUSE
“Three Stories” 5/17/2005
As House delivers a lecture on three different cases, his colleagues finally got some insight into their grumpy boss’ pain. And viewers got a cameo by Carmen Electra. Somehow it all came together.

65. WKRP IN CINCINNATI
“Turkeys Away” 10/30/1978
Oh, the humanity of this Thanksgiving gem! If it’s any comfort, Mr. Carlson, we thought turkeys could fly, too.

64. MURPHY BROWN
“You Say Potatoe, I Say Potato” 9/21/1992
Vice President Dan Quayle drew laughs of his own in 1992 when he criticized the very fictional Murphy (Candice Bergen) for having a baby sans husband. Bergen, determined to get the last laugh, responded by rebutting the veep’s critique head-on in an episode that became a cultural touchstone. Says Quayle today: “Because of the publicity, many fatherhood initiatives have been started, and what was deemed controversial by the media elite in 1992 is accepted as a truism now—children need the presence of fathers in their lives.” Hey, Murph, wanna take this one?

63. GREY’S ANATOMY
“Losing My Religion” 5/15/2006
Capping a three-episode arc, this Season 2 finale hit an emotional peak with the tragic death of cardiac transplant patient Denny Duquette (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) that would haunt Izzie (Katherine Heigl) for seasons to come. Killing the character “was horrible and weird and seemed so real when he died,” recalls creator Shonda Rhimes. “Everyone was crying when Jeffrey did the scene, and it took a really long time.” Also in the episode, Meredith, Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George organize a high-school prom for the Chief’s terminally ill niece. “Staging that was extremely difficult,” Rhimes says. “Everyone thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. I wanted that prom.” Before the last dance was over, Denny died without Izzie, and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Derek (Patrick Dempsey) slipped off for an illicit interlude. “Patrick and Ellen really went for it in that love scene,” Rhimes says. “I remember saying, ‘I need to see those panties come off!’ It was important because Addison later found those panties in Derek’s jacket.”

62. LAW & ORDER
“Life Choice” 1/8/1991
Creator Dick Wolf’s favorite episode, about an abortion-clinic bombing, stirred controversy—and could be ripped from today’s headlines.

61. L.A. LAW
“Good to the Last Drop” 3/21/1991
Rosalind Shays, going down. An unpopular character was never so perfectly shafted.

60. THE BIG BANG THEORY
“The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis” 12/15/2008
Sheldon’s obsession with Christmas etiquette was the comedic gift that kept on giving.

59. ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS
“Lamb to the Slaughter” 4/13/1958
Barbara Bel Geddes bludgeons her unfaithful hubby with a frozen leg of lamb, then feeds the evidence to the cops. Savory!

58. THE ODD COUPLE
“Password” 12/1/1972
Oscar and Felix partner up for the famed TV game show, and the password is riotous.

57. HILL ST. BLUES
“Freedom’s Last Stand” 1/28/1982
Superhero Captain Freedom was a laughable character. Until we said a tearful goodbye.

56. HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
“Slap Bet” 11/20/2006
The Three Stooges–worthy slapstick on display here is legen…wait for it…dary!

55. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
“One Wonderful Day” 5/22/2005
The 2005 season finale gave viewers everything they wanted—and a new mystery, to boot. Mary Alice’s suicide was explained, and another death—the shocking murder of Bree’s husband, Rex—set the stage for Season 2. “It was really one massive punch after another after a yearlong setup,” says creator Marc Cherry. And keeping the story lines hush-hush wasn’t a problem. “Rex’s death wasn’t in the script,” Cherry says. “We put it in the episode through postproduction.”

54. TWIN PEAKS
“Pilot” 4/8/1990
So Lost is weird? This show starred a corpse.

53. THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW
“Went With the Wind” 11/13/1976
It’s amazing what a pair of curtains and perfect comic timing can do.

52. DAMAGES
“Because I Know Patty” 10/23/2007
Frobisher’s run-in with a trigger-happy ex-employee was almost as shocking as Patty’s hand in protégé Ellen’s attempted murder. Almost.

51. TAXI
“Reverend Jim: A Space Odyssey” 9/25/1979
What does a yellow light mean? That we’ll always brake for Reverend Jim’s divinely funny driver’s test.

50. THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW
“Flip” 5/31/1998
A robed David Duchovny flashed his comedic skills—and a basic instinct for Larry’s bod.

49. DEXTER
“The British Invasion” 12/16/2007
Poor annoying Lila. May she rest in pieces.

48. MOONLIGHTING
“Atomic Shakespeare” 11/25/1986
Fantasy sequences usually leave us craving reality, but this “Taming of the Shrew” spoof made us regret dozing through Shakespeare 101.

47. CSI
“Grave Danger” 5/19/2005
First, George Eads got the good news: He was going to be the centerpiece of CSI’s 2005 season finale, to be directed by Quentin Tarantino. Then, the bad news: His character, Nick, was going to be buried alive and covered by fire ants. When it came time for Nick to tape-record his farewells, Tarantino advised Eads to “imagine your mom’s watching you die.” As the tears started, Eads recalls, “I heard Quentin quietly singing ‘Hush little baby, don’t you cry’ right by my head. After that, all the words just flowed out of me.” And it’s safe to say audiences dug the episode. “People would come up to me and say, ‘Hey! You’re the dude from the coffin!’” explains Eads. “I know there’s no dipstick to measure how famous you are but after ‘Grave Danger,’ I was recognized almost everywhere.”

46. ELLEN
“The Puppy Episode” 4/30/1997
Ellen came out. And yep, she was funny.

45. GENERAL HOSPITAL
“Luke & Laura’s Wedding” 11/16/1981
The nuptials of Lucas Lorenzo Spencer (Anthony Geary) and Laura Webber Baldwin (Genie Francis) drew 30 million viewers and a 52 share of the audience—a daytime record that stands today. “It’s astounding that the wedding continues to garner so much interest—it certainly impacted my life in a big way,” says Geary, who’s still with the soap 27 years later (Francis does sporadic guest stints). “For all its idyllic romance, the relationship of Luke and Laura was hot and complicated and messy—let’s not forget the whole thing started with a rape,” Geary says. “Back then we really challenged the audience. Nowadays we’re too concerned with keeping people comfortable.”

44. MY SO-CALLED LIFE
“Self-Esteem” 11/17/1994
Like you didn’t totally swoon over Jared Leto.

43. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
“Blood on the Scales” 2/6/2009
Mutiny on the Galactica leads to one frakking out-of-this world showdown.

42. EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND
“Marie’s Sculpture” 10/22/2001
We don’t know art, but we know what we like: this bawdy screamer about a suggestive statue.

41. FREAKS & GEEKS
“Carded and Discarded” 1/10/2000
Hollywood owes a huge debt to these freaks. Judd Apatow’s ridiculously underrated comedy/drama about ’80s teens met a too-early demise, but its talent eventually graduated to the big screen. Without Freaks and Geeks, there’d be no 40-year-old virgins, no stoners knocking up brainier girlfriends, no Seth Rogen, James Franco, Jason Segel or Linda Cardellini. At its best, F&G showed youth culture as it really was (and is), and no episode did that better than “Carded and Discarded,” in which the freaks embark on a quest to buy fake IDs. “The show captured how uncomfortable it is to be in your own skin as a teenager,” remembers Cardellini, who played confused yet soulful Lindsay. “It was a quirky, nostalgic, yet somehow realistic look at how awful high school can feel.”

40. THE WEST WING
“Two Cathedrals” 5/16/2001
President Bartlet (Martin Sheen) usually fought Republicans, but in this weeper he took on God Himself after the death of secretary Mrs. Landingham. “We’d gotten to know Bartlet as a devout Catholic,” says creator Aaron Sorkin, “and I was aiming him toward a showdown with God on God’s home court.” Just before Bartlet’s church rage (“Feckless thug!”), Sorkin warned a nearby clergyman that “Martin Sheen is going to curse God.” The response? “I know. It’s gonna be great.”

39. THE WONDER YEARS
“Pilot” 1/31/1988
“When a Man Loves a Woman” never sounded so sweet as when ’60s schoolkids Kevin and Winnie shared their first buss.

38. THE SHIELD
“Possible Kill Screen” 11/18/2008
To quote every person who marveled at Michael Chiklis’ work as bad cop Vic Mackey confessed his crimes: “Oh. My. @#%ing. God.”

37. THE BOB NEWHART SHOW
“Over the River and Through the Woods” 11/22/1975
Friends don’t let friends drink and order moo goo gai pan. Unless they want to create an intoxicating comedy classic.

36. STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
“Best of Both Worlds Pt. 1″ 6/18/1990
The first and freakiest season cliff-hanger in Trek history is still the greatest. Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) is captured and zombie-fied by the Borg, an evil collective that plans to use Picard to destroy humanity. First Officer Will Riker (Jonathan Frakes) can’t let that happen, so he’s forced to destroy the Borg ship carrying his beloved captain. At the end of the hour, Riker issues the command “Mr. Worf, fire!” The screen goes black, followed by the words “To Be Continued.” “The shock and the tension were fabulous,” Frakes recalls. “It was lightning in a bottle.”

35. THE X-FILES
“Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose” 10/13/1995
No ESP needed to see the Emmy coming Peter Boyle’s way for his X-traordinary role as a psychic helping Mulder and Scully catch a killer.

34. THIRTYSOMETHING
“A Second Look” 2/12/1991
Cancer-stricken Nancy recovered. Carefree Gary didn’t. We’re not sure about ourselves.

33. ROSEANNE
“A Stash From the Past” 10/5/1993
What to do when that weed turns out to be your own long-forgotten stash? Unlike then–president Clinton, Roseanne, Dan and Jackie inhaled. “We wanted to deal with the hypocrisy of ‘you’ve got to say it’s not right and punish your children,’ when most people who smoked didn’t believe that,” says writer Kevin Abbott. The only concessions to the network: Dan’s lament, “Were we ever really stupid enough to enjoy this?” and putting pregnant Laurie Metcalf in the bathtub, avoiding the visual suggestion that Jackie was smoking for two—thus making for the episode’s best line: “Is this the sink? Am I shrinking?” That’s high comedy.

32. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
“Development Arrested” 2/10/2006
The Bluths’ pitch-perfect finale had fans clamoring for—and very likely getting—a big-screen follow-up.

31. FRASIER
“The Ski Lodge” 2/24/1998
It’s all uproariously downhill when the Cranes collide with a randy ski instructor and a swimsuit model on their door-slamming getaway.

30. NYPD Blue
“Hearts and Souls” 11/24/1998
Just thinking about Bobby Simone’s death gets us all (sniff)…oh, why, God, why?!

29. CHEERS
“Show Down” 3/31/1983
After a season of “foreplay,” as star Shelley Long recalls, the writers of Cheers knew they needed something special to boost viewership. The first season ended with the long-awaited smooch as snooty barmaid Diane Chambers (Long) and Ted Danson’s womanizing ex-jock Sam Malone finally locked lips. “Neither of us wanted to lose our front teeth,” says Long, who’s begun penning her memoirs and says she always wanted Sam and Diane to end up married. “So we came together close, and then the kiss. And Mr. Danson was a fabulous kisser. One of the perks of my job.”

28. 30 ROCK
“Black Tie” 2/1/2007
Here, the relationship between Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy took on the “genuine, mutual respect” that has been the show’s centerpiece ever since, says exec producer Robert Carlock. The other triumph was Paul “Pee-wee” Reubens’ sidesplitting stint as drooling Hapsburg Prince Gerhardt. Quips Carlock, “We tricked him into it.”

27. CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
“The Special Section” 10/20/2002
Only Larry David could use his mother’s passing to leave us dying from laughter.

26. THE WIRE
“Final Grades” 12/10/2006
As uncompromising as TV gets: Three of the four schoolboys depicted throughout the season meet unhappy fates. “Forces out there conspire,” says coexec producer Ed Burns of inner-city dangers, “and it’s like walking in a minefield. With an awful lot of mines.”

25. HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET
“Subway” 12/5/1997
Caught between a train and a hard place: Vincent D’Onofrio at his shattering best.

24. THE SIMPSONS
“Krusty Gets Kancelled” 5/13/1993
Johnny Carson. Bette Midler. Liz Taylor. We’ve yet to see a better lineup for a KO’d Klown.

23. ST. ELSEWHERE
“Time Heals” 2/19/1986 & 2/20/1986
The drama brilliantly recounts the hospital’s history, including the early days of Drs. Westphall, Aushlander and Craig, youth wigs and all.

22. SIX FEET UNDER
“Everyone’s Waiting” 8/21/2005
The series finale’s artful flash-forward gave us a moving look at the Fishers’ last moments.

21. FRIENDS
“The One With the Embryos” 1/15/1998
So Miss Chanadler Bong subscribes to TV Guide Magazine? Could it be any funnier?

20. M*A*S*H
“Abyssinia, Henry” 3/18/1975
The much-watched finale eight years later made ratings history, but this was the episode that made M*A*S*H great. Before Internet spoilers doomed the element of surprise, millions of fans were stunned by the death of beloved Lt. Col. Henry Blake (McLean Stevenson). Slapstick scenes celebrating his Army discharge were capped by a coda that has yet to be topped by any sitcom: the news that Henry’s plane was shot down—no survivors—delivered by his bereft aide Radar (Gary Burghoff was handed the script pages only moments before filming). “It was one of those rare times on TV when somebody dies without any preparation,” recalls Alan Alda, who played Hawkeye Pierce. “All of a sudden, somebody you have an emotional attachment to is gone. [Producers] Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds wanted to give the audience the feeling of the suddenness of death in war. That was the thing: The show didn’t ignore the reality of war.”

19. THE OFFICE
“Diversity Day” 3/29/05
By its second episode, NBC’s remake fulfilled the order of Americanizing the classic Britcom The Office. Dunder-head Michael Scott (Steve Carell) puts his underlings through a sensitivity-training session. “It’s the strongest example of the kind of trouble Michael would get into,” exec producer Greg Daniels says. And a job well done.

18. THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW
“Opie the Birdman” 9/30/1963
After offing a mama bird with his slingshot, Opie takes her three orphaned nestlings under his wing. Should have known that kid would grow up fine.

17. SOUTH PARK
“Trapped in the Closet” 11/16/2005
Tom Cruise was the target, but Isaac Hayes is the one who felt stung: The former soul singer quit voicing Chef because of this ep’s Scientology jokes.

16. THE FUGITIVE
“The Judgment” 8/22/1967 & 8/29/1967
After four seasons and a final face-off with the one-armed man, the fate of Dr. Richard Kimble was watched by 72 percent of American households with TVs. Eat your heart out, Idol!

15. THE COSBY SHOW
“Goodbye Mr. Fish” 9/27/1984
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for the toilet internment of Rudy’s goldfish, Lamont. Death may not be proud, but it was hilariously handled here.

14. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
“Once More, With Feeling” 11/6/2001
The fantabulous but woefully Emmy-ignored musical episode still has people singing Buffy’s praises.

13. THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW
“It May Look Like A Walnut” 2/6/1963
A sci-fi flick messes with Rob’s head and suddenly, we’re in a trippy adventure filled with a four-eyed Danny Thomas, walnut-eating aliens and an out-of-this-world closetful of laughs. The Sixties had begun.

12. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
4/22/1976
Writer Tom Davis remembers: “In my tenure as writer—1975 to 1980 and 1986 to 1994—I can’t remember another episode in which every sketch worked. All the other shows had one or two clinkers or muffed performances. In my book, Thirty-Nine Years of Short-Term Memory Loss, I call it the Best SNL Episode Ever. The whole week was free of disaster. Nobody was sick or depressed. Nobody was flying in on Friday from a movie set. Nobody was late for rehearsal. Nobody was dead yet. It opened with Paul Shaffer doing rock promoter Don Kirshner introducing a new act, the Blues Brothers. Steve Martin came out for the monologue doing a magic act, which required a volunteer from the audience—Bill Murray. We had a sketch with the Festrunk Brothers, two wild and crazy guys, and the poignantly hilarious ‘Dancing in the Dark’ sketch with Steve and Gilda Radner. And there was ‘Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber,’ conceived after I saw writer Don Novello in the hospital, his broken leg suspended by a rope and pulley, and I thought, ‘Let’s do a sketch about medieval medicine.’ But it was an idea Steve brought that set the standard. Lorne Michaels loved it and produced it to the hilt. The dancers, musicians—everything worked perfectly as Steve, in Pharaoh costume, stood and delivered the immortal words: ‘Born in Arizona. Moved to Babylonia. King Tut.’”

11. THE TWILIGHT ZONE
“Time Enough at Last” 11/20/1959
What’s worse than a nuclear blast? Broken glasses. There’s no other excuse for missing this classic.

10. 24
“Season 1: 11PM-12AM” 5/21/2002
The actors were appalled, the network fought to stop it, but as the clock ticked toward midnight that first season on 24, everyone knew. “We had to kill off Teri Bauer,” says cocreator Joel Surnow. Fans had spent all season watching Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) sweat to save his wife, Teri, their daughter and the future president. “Usually on TV, goodness prevails and tragedy is averted as our hero wraps things up, but we took away the predictable,” Surnow says. Producers spent weeks arguing with Fox suits and convincing the cast that offing a major character made sense. The episode, says Surnow, “cast 24 as a show where anything could happen and anyone could die. It was like, “Oh, my God! What did I just see? I want to see more.”

9. ALL IN THE FAMILY
“Cousin Maude’s Visit” 12/11/1971
“We wanted to bring in a heavyweight who could belt Carroll O’Connor’s Archie as he deserved,” says creator Norman Lear, “and no one could be a cousin with a grudge like Bea Arthur.” The sparring began when Edith’s liberal cousin Maude arrived to bring relief to the flu-stricken Bunker household. “We knew two days into rehearsals that there was a show in Maude,” Lear recalls. The night the episode aired, network chief Fred Silverman called with an order: “That woman! That’s a series!”

8. MAD MEN
“Nixon Vs. Kennedy” 10/11/2007
The penultimate episode of Mad Men’s first season was undoubtedly its climax: Adman Don Draper, aka Dick Whitman (Jon Hamm), is forced to confront the revelation of his false identity by nasty little blackmailer Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser). The action unfolds on Election Day 1960, a notable date in creator Matthew Weiner’s metaphor-rich mind. “It was a great way to tell how Don was more like Nixon than Kennedy—an outsider and a self-made man,” he explains, while Pete and JFK shared youth and Ivy League cachet. The episode had two stunning set pieces: a poll-watching office party that gets out of hand and a battlefield flashback that explains Don’s macabre reinvention. Says Weiner, “Nixon lost and Don won, but it doesn’t feel like it. He’s just this poor, haunted guy.”

7. THE HONEYMOONERS
“Better Living Through TV” 11/12/1955
Here’s the template for generations of working-stiff big mouths brought low by their own bluster. Jackie Gleason’s self-deluding Ralph Kramden comes up with a surefire plan to make easy money—a gadget called the Handy Housewife Helper. (“It cores apples, it scales fish, it sharpens scissors, and there’s a little thing here that takes corns off your feet.”) Despite the advice of wife Alice (Audrey Meadows), he and true-blue sidekick Ed Norton (Art Carney) stage a hilariously disastrous commercial. “The genius of Gleason’s Kramden,” says ’Til Death star Brad Garrett, who played Gleason in a 2002 CBS biopic, “was that his schemes and frustrations were always a by-product of his desire to make a better life for him and Alice.” Garrett’s exactly right. “You can’t put your arms around a memory,” Ralph says to Alice, threatening to walk out if she doesn’t go along with his latest bad idea. She just gives him that look and says, “I can’t even put my arms around you.” But she does—every time. In other words, baby, they were the greatest.

6. ER
“Love’s Labor Lost”
This heart-pounding race to save the life of a pregnant woman and her soon-to-be-born baby also offered a profoundly moving study in the moral growth of cocky young teaching doc Mark Greene (an outstanding Anthony Edwards). “I was on set watching the scene in the trauma room where the chaos escalated,” recalls executive producer Christopher Chulack. “There was a real high-intensity emotion in being there three feet away, and what came over the air was just as emotional. That’s a rare thing.”

5. LOST
“Pilot” 9/22/2004 & 9/29/2004
What, exactly, were they thinking? The writers, the directors, the cast—did they really think there was a network series in this bizarre pilot about a downed airplane and the mystical mayhem it unleashes? Maybe not, and viewers are all the better for it. Damon Lindelof says he and cocreator J.J. Abrams found it “incredibly liberating” to craft a pilot that no one seriously expected to work as a weekly series. “It freed us up to do things that normally would’ve scared the hell out of us.” Not that the weight of their endeavor completely escaped them. One line in the pilot particularly resonated with foreboding for Lindelof. “I’ll never forget the day we were shooting Dominic Monaghan [Charlie] as he looked around and said, ‘Guys, where are we?’” It was that moment, Lindelof says, when he realized, “Wow. We might actually have to answer that question one of these days.”

4. I LOVE LUCY
“Lucy Does a TV Commercial” 5/5/1952
Sip by drunken sip, Lucy Ricardo made a TV commercial and Lucille Ball made TV history. “It was one of her favorites,” says daughter Lucie Arnaz of the famous Vitameatavegamin episode. “The night it happened, she realized she’d hit the jackpot.” The show’s writers had to concoct a way of getting Lucy drunk without the character knowingly imbibing. “They never allowed her to get drunk on purpose,” says Arnaz. “She never wanted anything that would be a bad influence.” So what was in those bottles? Apple pectin. “The prop man, Herb Browar, searched and searched for something gruesome enough to help her make that face,” says Arnaz, who recently ordered up the product for “An Evening With Lucille Ball,” a stage production she’s directing. “I finally got to taste it—and now I know why Mom made that face. It’s like biting into a lemon. Or drinking that stuff they give you the night before you go in for your colonoscopy.”

3. THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW
“Chuckles Bites the Dust” 10/25/1975
Take one unlucky peanut-clad clown, a rogue elephant, an irreverent newsroom, an Emmy-winning script and a virtuoso performance by one of TV’s greatest comedians, and you get one of the biggest laugh-out-loud sitcom episodes ever. When kiddie-show host Chuckles the Clown has his tragic culinary misadventure, it’s catnip to the WJM-TV crew—except for a disapproving Mary Richards. The comic payoff comes with Mary’s unsuccessful attempts to stifle her snickers during a eulogy celebrating Chuckles’ alter egos Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo and Auntie Yoo-Hoo. The pièce de genius: When the minister gives Mary permission to laugh, she begins to bawl. Amazingly, not everyone was on board, recalls star Mary Tyler Moore. The series’ usual director opted out of the episode “because he thought it was not in good taste,” says Moore. CBS also had misgivings about the show’s tone, she says, “but we knew it was something special. It’s not just about laughing at the funeral, but also the tensions and talking about it in the newsroom. It really is a uniquely funny episode.”

2. THE SOPRANOS
“College” 2/7/1999
Meet Tony Soprano. Loving dad, waste-management executive, murderer. “College,” which finds James Gandolfini’s capo di tutti capi accompanying his daughter, Meadow, on a bucolic campus tour, was inspired by a similar road trip that creator David Chase had recently taken with his own daughter. “Then you start thinking,” recalls Chase, “what could happen there that would be dramatic? Well, what if some guy was living in witness protection in some little town in New England and Tony saw him…” He adds with a chuckle, “I guess that’s what they call ‘high-concept.’” And high drama, as Tony proceeded to stalk the “rat” and strangle him with an electrical cord. When HBO execs fretted that showing the star of their new series in such a savage light would alienate viewers, Chase had a two-pronged defense. “In Tony’s terms, that guy deserved it, and if the audience was at all identifying with him, they’d feel the same way,” he says. “Also, if Tony knows the informer is there and he doesn’t [kill him], the audience will lose even more respect for him.” Viewers found themselves both shocked and enthralled. A hit was made.

1. SEINFELD
“The Contest” 11/18/1992
Ironic: The most celebrated episode of a show that claimed to be about nothing is an episode obsessed with something. Genius: It never actually said what that something was. Not that it could have been anything else. As soon as Jason Alexander’s George related being “caught” doing, um, “you know…” by his traumatized mom, we knew the topic at hand. Thus began a glorious half hour of pop-culture history in the making. “It gave people this sudden sense that there was a different kind of show on TV,” says Jerry Seinfeld, calling “The Contest” a “pivot point” in the series. He thinks the script’s success hinged on its coyness: “There’s nothing easier than being shocking. The sexuality wasn’t what made the show so memorable, but the way that we did it.” Yes, it was based on a real-life battle of wills in which cocreator Larry David once engaged. No, we don’t know if he won, but this episode unquestionably won our contest.

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